I’ve been off point the last few weeks. I don’t want to say off grid, I have definitely been wasting time online, but I haven’t been too focused or assertive in my creativity. Traveling to Japan, a horrible flu, and generally trying to find my way back into the rhythm of life, have kept my away from this public front of my journey. Not that this is a bad thing for my creativity, though it does seem like a bad thing for my ‘goals and aspirations’. You’re meant to have those, right? The struggle for the goals and aspirations is what makes creativity relevant… Well, that’s the story my head tells me and I am pretty sure it is a concept that has been learnt rather than organic.
During my travels in Japan, I took a watercolour diary, purchased a travel palette, and painted around Tokyo. I didn’t fit in as much plein air painting as I would have liked due to the heat and getting sick, but I took photos and did some follow up studies where I could. The process of painting quickly and not being so attention focused was liberating. None of the pieces came out as finished, but the process of sitting and getting lost in the act of creating was refreshing. Taking away the need for a finished and perfect piece meant that I focused on the flow of that present moment (to the point of getting sun burnt without noticing way too often). I have tried to replicate this in most moments of life since my trip, simply seeing each moment for what it is, capture it for what it is in that instant, and then letting it go once it is done.
This is why I’m not convinced that this need for success of my goal to make my creativity relevant is helpful for nurturing my creativity. That pursuit takes away from the creation itself. None of my paintings in Japan were perfect or finished, but I found flow in their creation much more readily than I have in my more focused works, and I felt like I gained more as an artist from it. On the other hand, this need for my life to have meaning and purpose is almost written into my DNA, and if I am going to find purpose, why not find it in the thing which brings me joy. Perhaps it is a spectrum- creativity on one side, aspirations and success on the other, and the real art of embracing the moment is to accept where I am balancing on that spectrum on any day and in any moment. You can’t draw a line with only one dot, you need to continually keep the pencil moving.
In other news- I’m working on studies for my personal project which can be followed in my Vision Board, and have a few commission pieces in the works, hopefully should be opening some more spaces in November 🙂 The line is being drawn as I type.
Whipit good 😉