Graphite, watercolour, pencil, soft pastel & pen on paper.
37.5cmW x 25.5 cmH (Frame 50.7 cmW x 38.7 cmH)
As a child we would visit my grandparents, who lived about two hours away, every other weekend. Every single time we left for the day I would feel horribly heartbroken and cried most of the way home. I have never coped well with goodbyes. I don’t like that something which was good and wonderful has to end and I don’t know when I will feel that happiness again.
When someone means so much to me I can’t help thinking about how much it will hurt when they inevitably leave. Either through choice, circumstance or death, it will happen- then what will I do? How do I live without this person who I have grown to care for and rely upon?
So to protect myself and plan ahead for how I will live with out them, I start living without them in the here and now. I try to be completely independent from them so that when they do leave it won’t be such a shock for me. If I keep them at arms length, it won’t hurt when they are gone. The result is that I cannot enjoy or embrace the relationship while it is right there in front of me. I keep the people I love most at a distance because I am too scared to loose them. I’ve no doubt they would welcome my open vulnerability and that it would change my life and relationships phenomenally. I also know there is a bitter irony in that this very behavior has lead to the end of the relationships I dread to loose. I just can’t seem to release this hold I have on my desperate need to protect myself from pain and loss.
“The Winter Queen” reaches for a staff which is shining and filled with energy. She could grab it if she just reached a little, there is plenty of space for her to do that. Instead she reaches towards it, hovering in a space where she might take hold or might not. She seems cold and unfazed, but her cheeks are just a little flushed. There is warmth inside her, even if she can’t turn that into the connection she longs for.
If you are interested in giving “The Winter Queen” a space in your world, please contact Platform Gallery directly.
Accept/Resist 11th-28th October
Platform Gallery
194 Katoomba St, Katoomba, NSW 2780
Ph: 02 4742 0047
E: hello@platformgallery.co
W: www.platformgallery.co